Stream of Consciousness

I need more than just a race to get excited for. I need more than just a bat to make both ball and spirit soar. I need you, in whatever form, through pictures or in some futuristic world. That other stuff is cool and boys will be boys, but it's just a game and no one is really keeping score. I want to be called in from recess today and with you, find rest. Let me try to put this into words. There are lots of pretty faces out there. Fun, temperamental, and smokin' hot "girls." But there's another, superior kind, a real woman...una MUJER, mejor dicho. Ripe, glowing, full of motherhood. She who though being conquered and thoroughly smitten, retains complete mastery over you. It confirms my belief that what men are looking for is some strange combination of physical beauty and maternal affection. Gracias, Senor, por ayudarme alcanzar mi potencial. Aunque el deporte no es todo en la vida, tampoco puedo negar que soy atleta primero que nada. Me gusta andar por las afueras, el cuerpo entrenar, competir y simplemente jugar. Quizas me hace un poco diferente pero todavia siento, amo, y me caigo como los demas. Lo dificil es aceptar, sin tratar de cambiar, y al fin dejar que nos quieran por lo que somos en realidad. Entiendo ahora lo que mis padres sienten, por ver y hacerme feliz. Contigo igual, y si no con un beso, entonces con el monetero, y si no con ser atleta, entonces con estar siempre a tu derecha. Porque estar a tres pasos de ti, es ser el ultimo en llegar, tal como he aprendido en el deporte, cuando termino en segundo, tercer, o cuarto lugar. Llega un momento donde todo parece ridiculo. Yo, con una media puesta sin la otra, perdiendo la cabeza, corriendo furiosamente en la rotunda. Y a donde llegar? Para que tanta prisa, que clase de locura! Quizas para bajar la fiebre, olvidar lo que uno no se merece, por no tener lo que siempre quise, y por lo cual ni tal vez califico. How do we explain the fear of giving up? Walking away implies forgetfulness, which implies annulment, which suggests a life lived in vain. Our real struggle is with the loss of self, the loss of intimacy, the fragility of earthly attachments, and a life whose transitory nature begs not just for extant meaning, but for transcendence. In other words, we loved each other once and in Heaven I shall only love you better. There are things in life we need, from which we can't depart. There are things we like, of which we can't get enough. There are things we want, that keep us moving on. There are things we love, that till death due us part. And then there's you, namely, all of the above. Let me worship at the altar of your Beauty, reflection of divine artistry, and thus refraining from idolatry. Imagine me, a penitent upon one knee, and beginning with thy feet, fawning over thee. Exhaling with every kiss, stroking with each caress, and repeating your name softly as upwards I digress. O' blessed Woman, my holy temple, incensed and nude, let me smother you with tender brushes, hold you close in a bed of roses, and be baptized into sainthood.Porque las razones nunca faltan, porque el corazon no se cansa, y porque el tiempo contigo jamas se acaba. Voy cayendo lentamente en un magico delirio con el presentimiento que algo muy pero muy especial ha aparecido en mi vida. Como un sueno que se va realizando y, bendito sea Dios, un deseo cuyo tiempo ha llegado. Te amo como el resplandor de un verano inclemente, que al llegar las lluvias, esas aguas refrescantes, me restituye con sus poderes. Los rayos que alumbran el cielo tempestuoso es mi corazon tronando por ti. Prefiero la espina a la cuchilla, lo temporal al desafio total. Porque la perfeccion no existe, y cualquier planeta donde usted no se encuentre, me sabe amargo y a pura mierda, con el agua del mar, volviendo mas salada. Hace falta un Dios, pienso yo, que no solo sienta nuestro dolor pero que tome accion en nuestro favor. Alguien que derrumbe los males y corriga las injusticias. Con tantas personas buenas y entendedoras, y sin embargo, los amores se van gastando. No quiero un Dios mudo ni impotente. Quiero uno que baje del Cielo con sus tropas angelicas y reclame este mundo en el nombre del Amor. El sufrimiento que observo, la tristeza que vivo yo dia a dia, no es tiempo ya para que lo absurdo se convierta comprensible? No hay opresion mas real, que ser esclavo a la soledad. Y como no soy hombre de politica o de nacionalidad, celebro la independencia que me otorgas tu, amor mio, la que libera este corazon con ganas de volar. Que hago yo cuando el domingo es por la tarde y el campeon se hace cobarde y pregunta, donde estas? Que estoy haciendo yo sin ti, companera mia? I don't know about fallen angels, broken wings, or the world's approaching end, but I know at least one I fall in love with every day, each time and all over again.Most one-hit wonders become rich and famous overnight, only later to have their value drop out of sight. But you, my one-hit wonder, my fixed and brightest star, retain the highest ratings on a scale from one to thou. For after you there is no sequel in my heart, only a number that plays on as the undisputed #1 on the charts. When the novelty wears off and the exotic becomes familiar, when excitement turns to predictability and the comfort of routine, when every day starts to take on a soothing rhythmic quality... I'll still be here loving you more and more with each passing moon. In my sleep, we walked together...in my dreams, we sat and talked. It's one thing to never have seen Giza or stepped inside Europe's sacred cathedrals, but when you've been with the eighth, ninth, tenth...wonder of the world, that's when waking up just plain sucks because nothing will ever compare. Ni la luna, en toda su majestad esta noche, brillaba con el mismo resplandor que alumbra tu rostro. Como si la belleza del mundo existiera solo a traves de ti, y sin ella no hay manera de vivir, o tal vez entre memorias y recuerdos que has dejado por ahi. Llevala de la mano en los peores tiempos, y entregale toda la vida en el beso mas intenso. Que el amor sea el fundamento cuando la lleves al altar, adornando sus pasos con un jardin de flores, tocando de emociones, y regalandole cada dia un perfume de mil olores. Ay, Rosa, Rosa, tan maravillosa, como blanca Diosa, como flor hermosa, tu amor me condena a la dulce pena de sufrir. Ay, Rosa, Rosa, pide lo que quieras pero nunca pidas que mi amor se muera, agonizo por ti. I am haunted by a figure receding into the distance. "Wait, don't go. Feet don't fail me now"....ahh, the cruelty of that disengagement.Come back to reality, O' wretched man, snap out of it. Let demi-gods be bygones. And restore my innocence, a virginity stolen by her alien grace. Take me back to a simpler time and place, before being baptized by her christening pace, when running was mere mortal play. I'll never be the same again, or feel as dead, when losing contact in a race. Running is fundamentally an ACT OF FAITH. You train and then wait for the results to appear, respecting the opposition with a healthy kind of fear. You go out at a pace that on paper is unfathomable. Mile 3, sub-18, what's another 10 of pure agony? Or you believe, as I do, that there must be a reason she's here once again. Helping to explain why your love is not in vain, why the finish line seems closer this way. I've been on runs where nobody is waiting for you to return. Runs that begin in haste, come up short, or get written off for some other day. But I've never felt freer than when you would say, go do your thing, I'll be right here. That is love. To bring out the best and remove all fear. It made me a stronger runner and twice the better man. She's really something. To say more would be to detract from the unspeakable. The best way to capture it is with a sigh, a smile from ear to ear, and walking back to my apartment like a zombie trying to figure out what just hit him or how it would ever be possible to outlive the small miracle that is each time I see her face. No me digas que ahora estas perdido, comi si de pronto la vida le faltara su sentido. Que tu depresion no tiene explicacion, el no poder dormir, corriendo peor que nunca. No hace tanto la filosofia me servia bien. El amor me correspondia or por lo menos la esperanza existia. Por eso creo que la salida debe por algun lado estar, y cuando la encuentre todo volvera ser exitoso, profundo, y mas que nada bello al parecer. Notice that nobody ever walks away from something you can't replace. Lost causes are abandoned and painful trips cursed, but the the real deal...the holy grail...it compels you, moves you, resucitates you. It moves the finish line closer and throws a tailwind at your back. You want to drop out, but dammit, you're in the lead and losing first, the best that ever was, is of all tragedies the worst. It wasn't just the burrito or the fact that it's been months since I've indulged my palate that freely. It was the table for two in the corner, thoughts of you, thoughts of me, dipping our chips in salsa and guacamole. We would plan our day, our lives, whole moons would pass by, and soon Chipotle became a symbol for all time. One love, for here and not (never) to go. Dame solo una vista, un pedazito de ti, por casualidad tropezar o de una distancia admirar. En eso veras encender mi rostro, desaparecer esta mirada sin fondo, este cuerpo gastado, y las ganas volver. Porque eres mi choque de alma, mi golpe despertador. I woke up in a fog today. The air was dense and everything unclear. So what else is new? It's been weeks since I could see the light of day, months since I could, through cloudy mists, breathe in the vapors of your healing, cosmic rays. Hardcore distance running, in a vacuum and outside of meaningful sub-narratives, makes you a lightweight, earth-gliding, and self-absorbed Nazi at the expense of every other dimension of physical, social, and financial well-being. What happens when you take away the most important thing a man has? Not all men, born of clay Can rise above the ashes That define their mortal frame The Raven is that man, that myth, that legend A hero in his own backyard While some people leave footprints in the sand, he builds sand castles And as sure as he builds, the people, they come A songwriter at heart He turned tragedy into triumph His mystique becoming an act of defiance Against a world which did him wrong His greatest hit is the one that plays everyday For as sure as the sun rises in the East The Raven will appear on a stage that's properly his The one-man show, the self-made man A product of his circumstances But no victim to fate Sometimes life can be so absurd That putting one foot in front of the other May seem like the only logical thing to do What if it's all in the sand? What if you haven't missed a day in 34 years? What if you're running to stay clear from the haunts of a ghoulish past? You'd be Robert Kraft, author of his own craft. Figura Demacrada Con huesos al punto de quebrar Siento que mis pasos van hundiendo La sangre ardiendo y El sudor en plena bancarrota Mareado estoy de andar en circulos Suspirando con aire robado De pulmones asfixiados Sigo marchando sin trasladar Sigo al frente, sin saber todo lo que dejo atras Pero el paso sigue igual El sol con su rumbo normal El tiempo una carga funeral Voy de prisa haber si salgo de este destino Donde estas, nina mia? Tanto que te necesito Tuya es toda la importancia Como hombre de cabeza a las puntas de los dedos Se reconoce que en este hueco destacante solo cabe lo feminino Te conozco ya? Haremos tropezados? Al cantar y dedicar estos versos Espero dar portal a tu existencia Materializando en nombre y presencia

A Guy who Runs

I am a runner, a guy who RUNS
A passionate soul inside a chiseled body
Disciplined, territorial, and headstrong
Well-armed and equipped for the chase

I am a runner, a guy who ENDURES
Trained in the art of perseverance,
Driven by personal ambition,
Loyally committed to a desired end

I am a runner, a guy who LEADS
Quietly resilient and chivalric
Without any trumpet-sounding
Self-promoting elitism

I am a runner, a guy who DREAMS
With the mind of the poet
the stroke of the artist
and the heart of the free-spirited

I am a runner, a guy who LABORS
perfecting his craft, the fine-tuning of speed
Gallantry on foot
Strategic, methodical, and hard-working

I am a runner, a guy who WINS
Defeating man, age, and clock
and achieving hometown victory
is my claim to fame

I am a runner, a guy who LOVES to RUN


Inspired by a post from the Bull Runner blog:

http://thebullrunner.com/2011/03/29/date-a-girl-who-runs/

Dissociated Thoughts

Philosophy, in my semi-professional opinion, boils down to a single all-encompassing, soul-wrenching, and mind-teasing question: WTF? ...proving that you don't have to be an armchair intellectual to qualify.


First, I discovered that families don't always stay together. Then, it became apparent I'd never go pro. Later, I learned that love is promised to no man, even the most well-intentioned. What's next in this chain of earth-crashing realizations? That Santa doesn't really exist?

And Pheidippides Wept - Poetic Homage to the Marathon

By: Jonathan Mederos



A vast problem unto myself
Coiling
And
Recoiling
Beneath an avalanche of woes
Only if it must be so


Hearts are tested, bodies hardened
Days reflected, trails forgotten
Subdue all pain
Become master of these domains


FOOTPRINTS
Carved along the path
Where I’ve been
Where I’m going
Where I hope to be someday


My Playground
Field of Dreams
Second Star to the right
And straight on till morning



A Boulevard of B R O K E N
Dreams
The only road I’ve ever known
Two diverged took the one less traveled by




I called He answered
I ran she came
Purpose herein found
Run hard, young man,
And finish strong.

Lengua de Amor

"Entiendo ahora lo que mis padres sienten, por ver y hacerme feliz. Contigo igual, y si no con un beso, entonces con el monedero, y si no con ser atleta, entonces con estar siempre a tu derecha. Porque estar a tres pasos de ti, es ser el ultimo en llegar, tal como he aprendido en el deporte, cuando termino en segundo, tercer, o cuarto lugar."

"Aunque no lo creas, hoy voy vestido con disfraz de Halloween, completo con nariz roja, zapatos gigantes, y colores abundantes. El traje me queda perfecto, como si fuera uniforme, porque desde que te fuiste, juego el papel de un payaso. Que hace un caballero en el circo, que hace un hombre sin el amor de su vida?"

"Dame solo una vista, un pedazito de ti, por casualidad tropezar o de una distancia admirar. En eso veras encender mi rostro, desaparecer esta mirada sin fondo, este cuerpo gastado, y las ganas volver. Porque eres mi choque de alma, mi golpe despertador."

"Recuerdo cuando me tocaron en el hombro una vez, y que pena, ya casi se me olvida la sensacion. Pero en ese momento, bajo una torrente de alivio, senti el poder femenino, como si fuera fragmento del amor materno. Bendito sea tal sentimiento, que habiendo madurado, se muere por desemprender en llamada mujer."

"No mostrarE nuestra foto si algun dia no te encuentras. No dejarE caer lagrimas falsas si en un futuro me fallezcas. A lo contario, te quiero con un amor sincero, verbo presente, hoy y cada dia, porque lamentar lo de ayer cuando en un pasado estaba mas que dispuesto, serIa una gran hipocresIa. (Observaciones de la vida alrededor)."

No me digas que ahora estas perdido, comi si de pronto la vida le faltara su sentido. Que tu depresion no tiene explicacion, el no poder dormir, corriendo peor que nunca. No hace tanto la filosofia me servia bien. El amor me correspondia or por lo menos la esperanza existia. Por eso creo que la salida debe por algun lado estar, y cuando la encuentre todo volvera ser exitoso, profundo, y mas que nada bello al parecer.



"Ni la luna, vestida de gala y majestuosa esta noche, brillaba con el mismo resplandor que alumbra tu rostro. Es como si toda la belleza del mundo existiera solo a traves de ti, y que sin ella no hay manera de vivir, o tal vez entre memorias y recuerdos que has dejado por ahi."

"De repente se me hace urgente. Cambiar, mejorar, por un milagro rezar, para que en mi puedas encontrar, o conseguir amar, el hombre que todo te quiso dar . Espera un poquito mas, y quizas te sorprenderas, ya veras."


"Prefiero la espina a la cuchilla, lo temporal al desafio total. Porque la perfeccion no existe, y cualquier planeta donde usted no se encuentre, me sabe amargo y a pura mierda, con el agua del mar, volviendo mas salada."

"Llega un momento donde todo parece ridiculo. Yo, con una media puesta sin la otra, perdiendo la cabeza, corriendo furiosamente en la rotunda. Y a donde llegar? Para que tanta prisa, que clase de locura! Quizas para bajar la fiebre, olvidar lo que uno no se merece, por no tener lo que siempre quise, y por lo cual ni tal vez califico."

"AhI me dejE caer, en esa nube de fatiga. Desorientado, temaba que en mi prisa te habIa abandonado. Pero de pronto sentI una brisa que me fue llevando hacia ti, y desde entonces no paro de persistir si es que en la distancia ya te vi." (letras mayUsculas llevan acento)

Aunque te sembrE un jardIn de primavera, perfumado con mi amor de veras, la flor que no encontraste es la Ultima en salirse, por ser tan orgullosa e invincible. Planteado como ella me fijo porque te amo como ayer te quise. (letras mayUsculas llevan acento)

Cuando me pregunten que hice este verano, dire emocionadamente que viaje a distintos continentes. Uno repleno con jardines de flores, musica de tambores, y tu bendita residencia. El otro despoblado y marcado por tu ausencia. Por lo tanto me quedo cuidadano de la primera.

Te amo como el resplandor de un verano inclemente, que al llegar las lluvias, esas aguas refrescantes, me restituye con sus poderes. Los rayos que alumbran el cielo tempestuoso es mi corazon tronando por ti.

At the Intersection of Sports and Real Life

Someday your name will be called, your number will be up, and the call will arrive. In that moment, everything that came before will make sense and seem like due process. Watching Greg McElroy get selected in the 7th round of the NFL draft with his family and Trey Wingo of ESPN fighting back tears, brought that home. (Inspired by the newest member of the New York Jets, at the intersection of sports and real life)

She made us cheer with her infectious smile. She made us gasp with her winning ease. Heroine, tragic figure, mother of three, and newly resurrected athlete. Marion, thank you for catapulting my own running career and to those who would have her crucified, how many of us have never lied to save our lives, with stakes no...t even close to being as high. (Inspired by M. Jones, at the intersection of sports and real Life)

In case you need confirmation that life is full of second chances, look no further than Michael Vick. I mean, where does he get that athletic ability to begin with? Once lost and now found, redemption is called turning your life around. (Inspired by the Eagles' starting QB, at the intersection of sports and real life)

An Iowa wrestler is ridiculed for defaulting at the state meet when it was revealed his next match would be against a girl. Where do we draw the line with equal rights, Title IX, and feminist propaganda? I was taught that a man should never lay his hands on a woman other than to make her feel loved. Any male athlete worth his “weight in class” would forfeit the title, especially in a sport where groping/grappling is the name of the game. (Inspired by Joel Northrup, at the Intersection of Sports and Real Life)

What's the difference between a man with nothing to lose and a well-balanced athlete with added perspective on life? The former is unbeatable, the latter is INVINCIBLE. Despite losing in a sudden death playoff on Sunday, pro golfer and family man David Toms was philosophical in defeat: "Winning here would not alter my life one way or another." (Inspired by the PGA Tour, at the intersection of sports and real life)

Let's not pretend that a man can hoist a trophy without the saving graces that accompany inspirational performances. While personifying perseverance, athletes like Bozella (the boxer) and Robles (the wrestler) were aided by the wind beneath their wings. For the latter it was the support of a mother in distress. And for the former it was the love of a woman behind bars. (Inspired by the ESPY Awards, at the intersection of sports and real life)



The character assasination of Jay Cutler reveals how public perception is fueled by appearances. Be careful you don't blink, stutter, or have a bad hair day because people will size you up in an instant, disgruntled Bears fans being just one segment of the population. (Inspired by the NFL playoffs, at the Intersection of Sports and Real Life

Now I have something in common with stalwart WR Randy Moss and it's not a big mouth or 4.2 speed. After being traded to the Vikings and later to the Titans, Moss still talks about his years in New England as if they were his best. And who knows, maybe the Patriots also miss that guy who could break open a game with one big play down the field. ( Inspired by #84, at the intersection of sports and real life)


On the eve following Andre Dawson's Hall of Fame induction speech, allow me to reverberate his scintillating words: "If you love the game of baseball, the game will love you back." Now in a world where such is seldom the case, sometimes the only way to make it through is by playing catch, putting on a uniform, or like ...me, going the distance. ( Inspired by Cooperstown 2010, at the intersection of sports and real life)

There are legends and all-time greats in every sport. And then there's Derek Jeter. Ony a demi-god could date Jessica Alba AND Jessica Biel, collect over 3,000 career hits, and still retain such poise and humility. Screw running! I want to wear #2, play shortstop for the New York Yankees, make $20 milion dollars a year, and go to work everyday to this introduction by Bob Sheppard and the crowd's ovation.


There are some things in life we just can't come to terms with. Maybe because we refuse to make peace with it or maybe for lack of an ultimate justification. We may submit ourselves to treatment, it may go into remission, but the heart is all but healed. Coach George Karl below knows exactly what I'm talking about. (In...spired by personal misfortune, at the intersection of sports and real life)

Ashley Judd, in describing her husband as a "gentleman racer" had this to say about Dario Franchitti: "I know I always have a parking spot reserved for me in his heart." Very well, then, but how about we make that an all-access permit with exclusive priviledges for the women we love. (Inspired by the Indianapolis 500, at the intersection of sports and real life.)


How many climbs will it take to break you? How many surges will you counter-attack? Go for broke, gamble, bid for glory on that weary summit, lest you should find yourself cracked and half-beaten, lacking in both strength and fortitude. Let us ride, then, with the courage of men with strained faces who will live to lov...e another day. (Inspired by the Tour de France, at the intersection of sports and real life)

I was going to criticize Lebron's tweet - Now or Never - before realizing that a similar ultimatum - This or Nothing - has been endorsed by me. We mean what we say in the sincerest of ways, every ounce of its raw, unfiltered emotion. Play hard or go home. Love passionately or renounce and fold. (Inspired by the heart of a champion, at the intersection of sports and real life)



Quite often, life’s anticipated moment comes not during regulation, but after 90 minutes of heartbreakingly close calls, near misses, and a war of attrition. Prepare for overtime with bated breath and saddled loins, because the difference between winning it all or losing what matters most is far from a bygone conclusio...n. (Inspired by the World Cup, at the intersection of sports and real life)

Musings of the Swift-Footed Poet

"If anyone should ask why, of all trades or occupations, did I choose philosophy, there is but one reply – to better understand why our tortured lot of humanity is made to suffer – and over the years my hunch has changed from one of injustice to one of desert. Running is an anesthetic to these incongruities but more oft...en than not, if performed in a vacuum, an exacerbating factor."

"Today I celebrated a run, the last of its kind, until quite some time. A 4.5 mile loop, really just around the block, but for me, the world. Sunkissed by an effervescent glow through leafy branches, saying hello to my good boy German Shephard, and collecting peace like miles reward on this green boulevard."


"Like a phoenix from the ashes, I have risen, from the depths have I emerged. Now, the canyons are dark, and the trails are lovely, sun-baked, and deep, but I've got miles to run and promises to keep."

"As certain races get closer, there's always this feeling, this fear, that maybe it's not everything we crack it up to be. I ask, is this it, is this what I've become? And usually, if I'm being honest with myself, the truth is that I've just gotten really good at passing time."

"Allow yourself to dream, for even if you can't be one of them, as this philosopher will tell you, the spirit of running has no official proprietor. The act itself is participation in an art form whose essence touches us all."

"To thee I offer up this elegy, amidst the trials my body now endures. For years have I sojourned to that fateful site, when on the 15th of April, 2004, victory was first achieved, eclipsing, if you will, a virgin streak. A lot has changed in six years hence, but in many ways I'm still that rabid, zealous runner bidding for the lead on old Bayshore Drive. In sleep have I pictured those glory days of yonder, in training have I paid dues to its bittersweet nostalgia. Sure enough, come this Thursday the course will be decked out in its race-day best and mine the lot to envy.Twice defending champion and now broken by a wayward knee, I'll be thinking of thee, as an absentee, but somewhere down the road, behind the motorcade, on a warm, crisp spring day, the prize will I reclaim."

"We all have our reasons, you know. As youngsters, we'd embark on a furious pace and throw caution to the wind, making our bed on the inside of lane one. But at some point the main hunt becomes more important than chasing the runaway rabbit, and the sun begins to rise in a not-so-Neverland. Older is better, I say, especially when you're traveling through greener pastures."

"You triumph over the adversity, that's what running is all about, and therefore you know there isn't anything in life you can't triumph over after that." K. Switzer